I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
