her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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