The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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