People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
