I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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