Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
