Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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