This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize