I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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