I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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