just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
