He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
