it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
