I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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