Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
