I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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