We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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