I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
