She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
