Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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