gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
