I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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