I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
