YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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