My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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