My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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