So drunk, too bad you don't want this
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
