he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
