Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
