whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
