Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
