thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize