Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
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He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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