Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
