so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
