I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
