i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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