Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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