Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
