He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
