In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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