also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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