so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
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Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
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The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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