all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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