did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
