i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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