Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
