I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
