i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
