I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
