I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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