My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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