at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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