Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  obviously you're part succubus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf? (201): obviously you're part succubus. http://tfl.nu/sqeb
  Replies (8) Good night (2533) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing. http://tfl.nu/huj4
  Replies (17) Good night (983) Bad night (2454)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?

  (567): View more from Ohio

  EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water? (567): EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now. http://tfl.nu/1pyg
  Replies (47) Good night (909) Bad night (5794)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off http://tfl.nu/q8op
  Replies (33) Good night (7094) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order. http://tfl.nu/ghcj
  Replies (11) Good night (958) Bad night (3379)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes

  (1-352): View more from Florida

  I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes (1-352): I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos. http://tfl.nu/ch4a
  Replies (13) Good night (7979) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay http://tfl.nu/pvcx
  Replies (16) Good night (5315) Bad night (3629)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool. http://tfl.nu/eu48
  Replies (5) Good night (3190) Bad night (1084)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis. http://tfl.nu/8mhm
  Replies (9) Good night (1777) Bad night (4125)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE http://tfl.nu/myo8
  Replies (21) Good night (4235) Bad night (1692)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over http://tfl.nu/83z5
  Replies (10) Good night (1797) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one. http://tfl.nu/be90
  Replies (3) Good night (661) Bad night (1470)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake http://tfl.nu/7ejr
  Replies (6) Good night (2437) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past." http://tfl.nu/7k27
  Replies (5) Good night (1322) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So, Cheetos don't microwave great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): So, Cheetos don't microwave great. http://tfl.nu/v29r
  Replies (1) Good night (145) Bad night (306)

Randomize