the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?