Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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  (703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q
  Replies (8) Good night (3009) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.

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  (443): I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans. http://tfl.nu/20x0
  Replies (6) Good night (2433) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.

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  (865): sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself. http://tfl.nu/7igx
  Replies (28) Good night (2851) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

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  (214): I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina. http://tfl.nu/q4iw
  Replies (56) Good night (3660) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.

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  (253): Best. Four. Twenty. Ever. http://tfl.nu/cry0
  Replies (42) Good night (6347) Bad night (1614)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"

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  (805): Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever" http://tfl.nu/wsl5
  Replies (41) Good night (8257) Bad night (1456)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?

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  (865): If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right? http://tfl.nu/p6zg
  Replies (19) Good night (2820) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I can feel the alcohol in my calves

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  (518): I can feel the alcohol in my calves http://tfl.nu/p5wf
  Replies (3) Good night (2838) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.

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  (402): There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster. http://tfl.nu/rpfq
  Replies (2) Good night (1448) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  That was an excessively violent trivia night

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  (604): That was an excessively violent trivia night http://tfl.nu/kztc
  Replies (4) Good night (1641) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece

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  (713): I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece http://tfl.nu/wzfc
  Replies (15) Good night (1515) Bad night (526)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.

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  (207): Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP. http://tfl.nu/nipi
  Replies (11) Good night (3176) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die

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  (703): No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die http://tfl.nu/xp9d
  Replies (3) Good night (584) Bad night (1507)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.

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  (856): doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos. http://tfl.nu/roer
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS

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  (717): IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS http://tfl.nu/i9d5
  Replies (3) Good night (583) Bad night (244)

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