Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that <code></code> http://tfl.nu/dm03
  Replies (8) Good night (1886) Bad night (527)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good... http://tfl.nu/zb2a
  Replies (44) Good night (1251) Bad night (9602)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat. http://tfl.nu/yazk
  Replies (17) Good night (2383) Bad night (4927)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved. http://tfl.nu/shxy
  Replies (10) Good night (6412) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak
  Replies (13) Good night (1295) Bad night (2415)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it http://tfl.nu/9sa0
  Replies (15) Good night (2849) Bad night (1810)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python. http://tfl.nu/mdf6
  Replies (5) Good night (938) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I love you more with every blowjob.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  You should write for Hallmark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I love you more with every blowjob. (1-202): You should write for Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/2s1x
  Replies (8) Good night (3119) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet. http://tfl.nu/zmql
  Replies (15) Good night (1549) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day. http://tfl.nu/x1ay
  Replies (4) Good night (863) Bad night (442)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (323): There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream http://tfl.nu/r44r
  Replies (9) Good night (523) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board. http://tfl.nu/zly7
  Replies (4) Good night (970) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Happy Fourth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night... (843): Happy Fourth. http://tfl.nu/0uin
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM (973): I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std http://tfl.nu/e0ex
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That. http://tfl.nu/q1fl
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (238)

Randomize