You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i wish my penis had a tongue
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.