He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
