There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
